Why a Round of Golf with Your Kids Might Be the Best Thing You Do This Father's Day

There's a piece of maths that stops most parents in their tracks.

Writer Tim Urban worked it out in his essay "The Tail End". For the first 18 years of your kids' lives, you see them almost every day. Then they finish school, move out, get busy, and the visits shrink to birthdays, Christmas and the odd weekend. By the time your child leaves home, you've already used up around 90 per cent of the in-person time you'll ever spend with them.

It's not a scientific study. It's back-of-the-envelope maths. But it's hard to argue with, and if you're a dad in your late thirties or forties, it lands with a thud. The clock isn't running out on your life. It's running out on this particular version of it, the one where your kids still want to hang out with you on a Sunday morning.

Which brings us to golf.

A 2023 study published in Frontiers in Psychology, drawing on national time-use survey data, found a direct relationship between the time parents spend with their children and children's wellbeing. The more time together, the better kids fared. And it wasn't chores or supervising homework that did the heavy lifting. It was shared life and leisure time that made the difference, with fathers' one-on-one interaction time showing a distinct positive effect of its own.

In other words, the science backs what most dads already suspect. It's not about being in the same house. It's about doing something together.

Researchers at the University of Cambridge's Faculty of Education reviewed 78 studies spanning four decades to understand what happens when fathers play with their children. Their findings: kids who get regular, active playtime with their dads tend to be better at regulating their emotions and behaviour, and show fewer emotional and behavioural problems as they grow up.

The Cambridge team's theory is that the physical, slightly unpredictable play fathers tend to favour creates safe situations where kids practise self-control. You learn to manage frustration, to wait your turn, to keep your cool when things don't go your way.

If that doesn't perfectly describe four hours on a golf course, nothing does. Golf provides a masterclass in self-regulation. From the three-putt they learn to shake off to the honesty of counting every shot, this isn't just golf etiquette. These are real-life skills, practised in real time, next to their dad.

Here's the part that gets less airtime. Research using data from thousands of families in the Fragile Families and Child Wellbeing Study found that fathers who were more involved with their children reported fewer depressive symptoms two years down the track. Engagement isn't just something dads give. It's something that gives back.

Then there's the golf itself. A University of Edinburgh scoping review of 301 studies, published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine, concluded that golf provides moderate-intensity physical activity linked to improved cardiovascular, respiratory and metabolic health, along with better mental wellbeing and a potential contribution to a longer life. A landmark Swedish study of over 300,000 golfers put a number on it: a 40 per cent lower death rate than non-golfers of the same age, sex and background, equating to roughly five extra years of life expectancy.

Five extra years. That's a lot more rounds with your kids, and with your own dad.

That's the other thing about golf. It might be the only sport where an eight-year-old, a forty-year-old and a seventy-year-old can genuinely play together, at the same time, on the same course.

Most of us who grew up around the game learned it from our fathers. Whether it was the junior lessons and tournaments, passing on hand-me-down clubs, or the quiet pride when you finally outdrove your own dad. If your dad is still swinging, a three-generation round this Father's Day might be the easiest gift you'll ever organise, and the one everyone remembers.

Because the same maths that applies to your kids applies to you, your time with your own father is further into the tail end than you'd like to admit.

Nobody looks back and wishes they'd spent more Sundays on the couch. The research says that time together matters, that shared play builds better kids, and that golf keeps dads healthier for longer. The rest is just logistics.

Father's Day is Sunday 6 September. Book the tee time. Bring the kids. Call your old man.

The course will do the rest.

References

1. Urban, T. (2015). "The Tail End". Wait But Why. https://waitbutwhy.com/2015/12/the-tail-end.html

2. Li, D. & Guo, X. (2023). "The effect of the time parents spend with children on children's wellbeing". Frontiers in Psychology, 14:1096128. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10106685/

3. Robinson, E.L., StGeorge, J. & Freeman, E.E. (2020, University of Cambridge Faculty of Education / LEGO Foundation review led by Prof. Paul Ramchandani). "Playtime with dad may improve children's self-control". University of Cambridge. https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/playtime-with-dad-may-improve-childrens-self-control

4. Bronte-Tinkew et al. via Fragile Families and Child Wellbeing Study analysis: "Involvement with Children and Low-Income Fathers' Psychological Wellbeing". https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4299464/

5. Murray, A.D. et al. (2017). "The relationships between golf and health: a scoping review". British Journal of Sports Medicine, 51(1), 12-19. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27697939/

6. Farahmand, B. et al. (2009). "Golf: a game of life and death. Reduced mortality in Swedish golf players". Scandinavian Journal of Medicine & Science in Sports, 19(3), 419-424.